The game Solid Snake never intended for you to play.

I was playing Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes for the Gamecube, when I realized something. What was the backstory Hideo Kojima wrote before Metal Gear Solid? What was the second Metal Gear, never released in the USA, like? Who was Gray Fox? At what point did Hideo Kojima's mind snap while writing Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty?

Wait, while we're on the subject, what the fuck is the deal with that insane nonsense script for MGS2? Did I dream it, or did Konami actually try to making a tactical stealth simulation game WITH A FUCKING VAMPIRE IN IT? What was that "La Li Lu Le Lo" crap?

Regardless, I decided to find Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake on an emulator and play it. I did some reading on MSX emulators, and found the following web page on it.

It's about five pages long, and involves downloading a bunch of files. Don't bother, since you can just skip all that and download it from

So, are you stuck on this game you probably haven't even played? Join me in my extreme mission... SLOWBEEF'S STRATEGY GUIDE TO METAL GEAR 2: SOLID SNAKE!

Added August 25, 2004
- Introduction, Part One: The Birth of Zanzibar Land - The Crappiest Named Nation
- Introduction, Part Two: Snake Climbs... Uh... Something to Infiltrate Zanzibar Land
- Chapter I: Snake Attempts To Sneak Inside. And Gets Caught Somehow. And Hides Behind Generators. A Bunch.
- Chapter II: Snake Finds a Big Gun and Learns Something About Vents: They're Venty.
- Chapter III: Snake Gets On An Elevator and Calls Up Some Peeps
- Chapter IV: Snake vs. Black Color!

Added August 26, 2004
- Chapter V: Black Color Revealed!
- Chapter VI: Yep, He's Still Dyin'.

Added August 30, 2004
- Chapter VII: Snake Roots Through Trash Mostly
- Chapter VIII - Monotonously following an idiot.

Added August 31, 2004
- Chapter IX: Snake Meets the Creator of the Robot Master, Diaper Man
- Chapter X: This Guy Never Shuts Up!
- Chapter XI: Please Let Me Off This Damned Walkie Talkie
- Chapter XII: Beyond the Swamp Lies the World's Fastest Mercenary

Added September 1, 2004
- Chapter XIII: Snake Gets Some Advice and Uses His Anti-Running Man Strategies!
- Chapter XIV: The Aftermath of the Running Man Saga
- Chapter XV: The Hind D Makes Its Predictable Appearance
- Chapter XVI: Snake Makes a Sound Map.

Added September 2, 2004
- Chapter XVII: Finding Holly
- Chapter XVIII: Don't Hate The Player

Added September 3, 2004
- Chapter XIX: Where Are All These Children Coming From?
- Chapter XX: The Fight With Red (?) Blaster

Added September 7, 2004
- Chapter XXI: The Treasure of Red Blaster
- Chapter XXII: Dr. Marv Speaks in Jumanji
- Chapter XXIII: The Search for Natasha, the New Carrier Pigeon
- Chapter XXIV: Third Floor Ballyhoo

Added September 10, 2004
- Chapter XXV: Snake Finds MORE Children.
- Chapter XXVI: Adventures in the Bathroom!
- Chapter XXVII: Natasha and Marv

Added September 20, 2004
- Chapter XXVIII: Snake Gets Some Partners
- Chapter XXIX: The Trio Unites!
- Chapter XXX: Snake and Natasha Have Some Alone Time
- Chapter XXXI: Natasha's Back-Story
- Chapter XXXII: Our Trio Parts Ways

Added September 21, 2004
- Chapter XXXIII: Natasha's Sad Song
- Chapter XXXIV: Metal Gear Arrives. Dun Dun Dun!

Added September 22, 2004
- Chapter XXXV: Natasha's Sad Song

Added September 22, 2004
- Chapter XXXVI: Return to the Fourth Floor
- Chapter XXXVII: Snake and the Magic Brooch
- Chapter XXXVIII: Snake Hangs Around in the Basement Some More
- Chapter XXXIX: Snake! Fox!

Added October 4, 2004
- Chapter XL: Ultrabox appears!
- Chapter XLI: The Fight With Ultrabox!

Added October 15, 2004
- Chapter XLII: Monotony
- Chapter XLIII: Glide!
- Chapter XLIV: The Fight With Predator
- Chapter XLV: Current Score: Snake - 1, Predator - 0. Egg Council - 1, Sensical Games - 0.

Added January 13, 2005
- Chapter XLVI: The Dumbest Puzzle in Video Game History... Coming Up!
- Chapter XLVII: Worst Puzzle Ever
- Chapter XLVIII: Kids Say the Darndest Things

Added February 13, 2005
- Chapter XLIX: The Fight with Night Sight. Sorry.
- Chapter L: Advice!
- Chapter LI: A Ridiculous Lesson in Chemistry and A Ridiculous Amount of Backtracking
- Chapter LII: Yay! We Finally Found Dr. Marv!
- Chapter LIII: Holly and Snake Rap About Doc Petro
- Chapter LIV: Petrovich Gone Wild!
- Chapter LV: Worst Boss Fight... Ever!

Added February 14, 2005
- Chapter LVI: This is the Most Boring Section in the Entire Game
- Chapter LVII: Finally, the Cartridge

Added February 18, 2005
- Chapter LIX: Last Call for Petrovich
- Chapter LX: Snake vs. Metal Gear
- Chapter LXI: Burn and Die!
- Chapter LXII: The "Final" Conflict

Added February 24, 2005
- Chapter LXIII: Snake Versus Fox
- Chapter LXIV: Prelude to really, really final fight!
- Chapter LXV: Snake vs. Fox! Well, again!
- Chapter LXVI: Fox dies... very, very, very slowly.
- Chapter LXVII: Foxes Don't Die Easy
- Chapter LXVIII: Snake Meets the Ringleader
- Chapter LXIX: More talking ahoy!
- Chapter LXX: Big Boss... Rambling...

Added February 25, 2005
- Chapter LXXI: The Battle With Big Boss
- Chapter LXXII: Snake Defeats Big Boss... In The Most Fucked Up Way Possible
- Chapter LXXIII: The Reunion
- Chapter LXXIV: We Meet Charlie
- Chapter LXXV: Run for the Border
- Chapter LXXVI: Merry Christmas! (?)
- Chapter LXXVII: Epilogue, Part 1
- Chapter LXXVIII: Epilogue, Part 2