Chapter LIII: Holly and Snake Rap About Doc Petro

"Yeah, Holly, I'm kinda dealing with my own shit right now. Dr. Marv's dead and-"

Okay, I guess Snake can take a time out.

Snake: [holds up a finger] "Petrovich? One sec. I gotta take this."

Wow, that's some incredible fucking timing there. I just find out he's a murderer - minutes too late! If only I'd had to backtrack further for my sulfuric-acid neutralizing chocolate rations!

Well, cry me a fucking river. None of us were too happy. It was a rough time for all of us. Wait, did you say Outer Heaven? I thought we were talking about when they cancelled Friends. God, I'll never forget.... excuse me, I have something in my eye!

My extreme Dogma theories are well accepted. For example, that movie sucked, and Kevin Smith blew his load on Clerks, Chasing Amy, and to a lesser extent, Mallrats.

I've always considered myself a scholar of blowjobs, personally. No, really, they require study man! Hey, cunnilingus is pretty fascinating, too - I'm an equal-opportunity sex addict.

Well, not that forgotten, I guess. Also, double agents probably don't stay clandestine too long when they start sending invites to random, obscure scientists.

What position? "I'm a nearly-forgotten scientist whose extremist views rejected me from the community at large. This is the perfect deal-making position!"

Oh yeah? Technologies like the squeaky sand and the sulphuric acid pools? No fucking wonder this guy didn't get much work back home.

"So, you store all your important things in a locker that can only opened with a brooch that turns into a key when you put it in a sauna! Hey! Don't walk away from me!"

If all that's true... why did we find him in a walled up cell earlier in the game?

Good detective work, Snake. He only FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT a few minutes ago!

Thank God This Conversation Is Over