Chapter XXXIV: Metal Gear Arrives! Dun Dun Dun!

No, Snake, that's the other giant robot Zanzibar Land happens to have a hold of. Then again, considering the way Kojima writes stories, it probably really is.

"I was just hanging out, demolishing bridges, killing people. How ya been?"

The game once again decides it's time for close ups. I guess Grey Fox is suppposed to be wearing a headband, but it looks more like he's just got a head wound. Snake helpfully repeats Fox's name... slowly... for some reason.

Fox: "And to underscore that, I'm going to destroy that bridge and stand on the other side of it with a giant mech."

Snake: "Well, maybe I don't wanna cross that bridge anyway, so there."

So they kill off the girl and kidnapped the old scientist? This video game has its priorites all messed up. Though I have to give it credit for not making me use any healing herbs... yet.

Let this be a lesson to you. Always make friends with people. That way, if you're in war with them, and they allegedly die, only to comandeeer a nuclear mech later in your life, they might let you go. But they won't let you cross any bridges.

Fox: "Sorry, I just thought of something funny I saw on King of Queens. You watch that show? It's pretty okay."

Fox drives Metal Gear off, and Snake overdramatically walks to the bridge gap and screams after him. It's not really smart to try and egg on someone in a fucking robot suit, by the way. Be funny if Fox just hit him with a missle right now.

I decide to call Holly.

No, Holly, I'm busy watching good soldiers die. War is hell. Anyway, No I haven't seen the balcony. Why? Is it nice?

Holly decides to help. Sadly, this advice isn't that great, since I had a simialr idea. It's called getting a ladder to cross that small gap in the bridge. Sadly, there aren't any to be found, so I guess it's time to do this, Xtreme Sports Style.

Get ready for action!