Chapter XXX: Snake and Natasha Have Some Alone Time

I smell sitcom!

Snake: "'Cause it seems like fate. Or it seems like a video game script quickly turning into a train wreck. I mean a bigger one."

Game Designer: "Sir, it's been awhile since a game character decided to randomly interject their biography in a clumsy, forced version of character development. Shall we do it here?"

Hideo Kojima: "Well... okay. You know, if I ever make a sequel to this game for the Playstation, I'm only going to do that right before each villain dies."

At this point, you'd think the game is showing off the research that was put into it. Watch - it pretty much turns out someone at Konami had the History Channel on and caught about five minutes of it.

Not really much of an uprising then, is it? (I guess I should insert a Polish joke here, but haven't they suffered enough?)

Oh my God, muddy faces?!?!!?

The horror.

The horror...

Snake: "Yeah, yeah, traumatized mother, whatever. So, anyhoo..."

So, picture this. You want to express a feeling of loss or detachment from something once loved. You want to say that this thing lost "became cold" - as a metaphor for emotions no longer felt. Perhaps a lover. Or a memento of a time gone by. Regardless, you want to say - metaphorically, mind you - that this thing, whatever it was, "became cold."

Try and make sure that thing wasn't already cold to begin with... LIKE ICE, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. Otherwise it just sounds stupid.

I can't tell if Snake is confused by the concept of ice, or if - like me - he's dumbfounded by that "ice became cold" line.

Uh oh! Do I sense some inappropriately timed booty knockin'?! Shit yeah, Snake - get that swerve on! It's not like you had anything important to do today anyway!

Can Love Bloom On the Battlefield?