Chapter XIII: Snake Gets Some Advice and Uses His Anti-Running Man Strategies!

Before we get into the fight with Running Man, I'd like to introduce you to the game's password system. If you don't want to save via disk, you can save your game old-school style, with an easy to remember password, like the one on the left! It's only 106 characters long!

WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING?! I didn't Photoshop this! They actually wanted you to write this down and re-insert it!

Back to the matter at hand. Running Man stays away from you in most of this battle, letting the nerve gas do its killing magic. Your only hope is to don the gas mask that I hope you got earlier in the game. If not... backtrack through the swamp!

Note that this gas mask is also valid against CN1 gas. Phew! Now I'll know not to fear CN1 gas in case I ever learn what the hell it is and encounter it.

I decided to call Kessler for advice on Running Man. Helpfully, he repeats the name, as if tasting it. The ellipses show his thoughtfulness. For some reason, by the way, Snake breathes nerve gas fine while on the walkie-talkie.

Wow, that's... fast? Hey, skip the time trial info. How do I kill him? And by the way, stop that metric system shit.

Yeah, "Athletes Association" really hates doping. They're okay with steroids and performance enhancers - they just don't care for either dopes or the creation of more dopes.

"And for our next application, we have 'running man'? Can you run 100 meters in under 10 seconds? Then you're our perfect terrorist candidate! No couch potatoes here, no sir!"

Well, thanks for the vote of confidence! Hey, you know, this animal metaphor bullshit is pissing me off. And even if my legs "never gonna catch him", I do have bullets, don't I? Last I heard, a Baretta M9 can clear 100 meters a lot faster than 9 seconds.

Sadly, my bullets move as white slow pixels, with about ten meters range - somehow. So it's a face off between a cheetah and a snake that can spit really slow bullets that just end mid-flight.

Wow, what a great idea! I'll just set up spikes in the walls, just like in Sonic the Hedgehog! That'll teach Mr. "Fastness"! Oh wait, I can't do that. Well, I have a broke-ass gun and some landmines. Wait a minute... I have an idea.

My only hope was to completely ignore Kessler's advice about his "fastness" and lay a bunch of landmines. Could I trick Running Man into running over them? Could I do it before THE NERVE GAS SUFFOCATED ME?!?!

Actually, since you can go outside and catch fresh air to regenerate your oxygen meter... yes! Running Man forgets to lock the door, so you're not really in any danger in this boss battle, whatsoever. Oh. Well, the only danger left is... will Running Man be dumb enough to run over the mines?

Well, yeah.

What next for our happy hero?!